Star Trek: The Namir Generation
Episode 1: Back to the Future
Namir Deiter + Star Trek = Undeniable chaos! Star Trek on it’s own is kind of bland. Adding Blue and the gang, is much like the magnifying glass to those plastic army figures… I think… that sounds good. It’s weird… Anyways, enjoy.
Tipper: Where are we?
Snickers: Good question.
Twix: Snickers? Is that you?
Joy: This is interesting.
Devlin: What’s with all the blinking lights.
BoB: (looks at a console) I wonder what those things do.
Ducky: This reminds me of a TV show I saw once.
Blue: (sits in the captain’s chair) Comfy! Where’s the remote for the Widescreen?
(BoB sits down at a station and starts touching every little button in his slimy reach.)
(The big viewscreen comes on with a picture of a crewman.)
Crewman: Welcome aboard our new crew! I see our captain has found her spot.
(Blue looks around and slams her palms on the armrest)
Blue: Captain? Me? Cool! Tipper! Go make
me a sandwich!
Tipper: Go make it yourself.
Blue: How dare you defy me! I am your captain! Your supreme ruler! Where are my personal handsome bodyguards! Go… Go throw Tipper outside! Get me a loaf of French Bread!
Snickers: Why do you want a loaf of French Bread?
Blue: Couldn’t hurt.
Crewman: Excuse me, we’re in outer space. Tipper would die without any air.
Blue: We are? Bonus points!
Joy: Excuse me! Why are we here?
Crewman: Well… see our original senior staff internally combusted and we needed a new one. So… since we had a lettuce-powered time portal, we had to find some replacements from the past.
Twix: Why us?
Crewman: Well… we originally picked 8 politicians from your era. But our time-expert screwed up. Sorry about that.
Snickers: We’re screwed.
(Blue wanders off into another room.)
Crewman: Do any of you know anything about
Devlin: Physics is my worst subject.
Tipper (to Devlin): I thought Biology was.
Devlin: So I have a lot of worst subjects!!!
Crewman (to self): We’re screwed.
Ducky: Hey! Where’s Blue?
(Blue comes back with a large bottle of soda and a bag of Chips)
Blue: Hey everybody! Party time! (pushes
a button on the captain’s seat) Attention everybody! I am your new boss!
I condemn you all! Obey me or die!
Joy: (whispers to Blue) Don’t you mean command?
Blue: Never mind! Ducky! Take us to that big planet and blow it up!
Ducky: I dunno how to work this.
Twix: Perhaps I can be of assistance to you two? (Twix sits down and starts pushing buttons. Sirens then blare constantly.)
BoB: I didn’t do it!
(The viewscreen pops up with a picture of Isabel Gonzales sitting behind a desk with a bunch of jellybeans in a jar. Beside it rests a name plate, which reads ‘Admiral Izzy.’ To the left of the nameplate resides a big red button.)
Izzy: Sorry there. Can’t let you do that.
Blue: Why not?
Izzy: That’s my job. (Izzy presses the big red button, blasting the planet to bits.) Hehe! I am evil!
Blue: (grumbles) I never get to do anything fun.
Izzy: Ahem… anyways. Welcome to the future! SunDate 4934.3 and some more numbers.
Devlin: SunDate? Wha???
Izzy: Oh! You want a year date… I think about… 2935.
Tipper: We travled 934 years, and we are now facing a insane lady bent on destroying the universe as we know it. Hey Dev, wanna go look around?
Devlin: Ok. (They leave.)
Snickers: What is a SunDate anyway?
Izzy: That’d be the new way y’all measure time.
Snickers: Oh… but why call it a SunDate? Does it have to do with the sun or something?
Izzy: Naw… if you say it really fast, it sounds like sundae.
Blue: Whatever, now can I go blow up stuff?
Izzy: You could do that… or be under my command…
Blue: Whatever, Ducky! Get my gun. This piece of junk needs some tough love. We’re moving out of here!
Blue: …and be awarded a generous salary. That goes for everyone.
Twix: Generous as in…
Izzy: 500k a year. Plus health insurance!
Blue: No! (whines) I wanna go blow stuff up on my own! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA!!!!
Izzy: Did I mention that I can kill you all in a blink of a eye with my super ray blasting death gun thingy-majiger?
Blue: In that case… (In a soldier tone of voice) What are your orders?
Izzy: Some stupid ship sent a SOS in your area. Go help, ok? Bye!!!
Blue: Whatever, Ducky… wanna go find the liquor cabinet?
Ducky: Sounds like a adventure. (They leave. BoB and Joy start to leave afterwards.)
Twix: Hey! Don’t leave us here!
BoB: I’m gonna go figure out how this fascinating starcraft works.
Joy: And I’m just going to explore. Bye!
Twix: I give BoB… 3 days to kill us all.
Snickers: Please, your giving BoB…
Ambient Computer Voice: Power failure on Deck 92.
Snickers: Too much credit. (Sighs) Maybe we can lock him up.
Twix: Hah! *Whoosh*(To Snickers) Now what…
Snickers: I think we’re moving.
Twix: What did you do?
Snickers: This thing. (Points to a trackball and rolls it to the left. The ship turns to the left, of course.) This would be the throttle. (Grabs a lever which looks like a typical throttle and pushes it forward.)
(Tipper and Devlin walk down a hallway and
run into a Calico furry that looks very similar to Tipper except with hair
like Ducky’s and wearing one of those red uniforms.)
Furry Calico Feline: Hey!
FCF: So… how’s the past?
Devlin: Um… alright… I guess… How’s the future?
Tipper: Yeah. Are the corporate, yet gorgeous boy band craze still as rampant as ever?
FCF: Oh yeah.
Devlin: What about McDonald’s?
FCF: Rampant as ever. Haven’t you checked the database?
Devlin: Of course not! Say, where can you get something to eat around here.
Kiki: Ten-Forward, at the end of the hall. There’s little dataport things so you can go browse through your history. Well, bye for now. Oh! The name’s Kiki. Bye! (leaves)
Devlin: Hmm… (Tipper clunks him on the head.) Ow!
Tipper: Here we are. (They enter Ten-Forward, it looks like your typical Star Trek one. A few furs look at the two and resume eating and resume chatting. They sit at the ‘bar’ area. A human in a chef suit comes to them with a skillet.)
Devlin: The future as we know it…
Tipper: is good! (Starts eating food on a plate.) This is good! (Grabs a forkful of the pasta and holds it up to Devlin.) Try some!
BoB: You say it runs on crystals?
Officer: Yes. Say, you look familiar.
BoB: Hey! I’ve seen a ship on TV like this! I know how to work this!
Officer: You’re the one who caused the power outage! Don’t touch!!!
Joy: (To Self) I will not kill BoB… I will not kill BoB… (all the lights go out.) I am going to die a horrible, horrible death.
Tipper: Steven Segal was president? Woah…
then… Ronald McDonald? Devlin, look at this. Dev… (Tipper looks to the
left seeing Devlin watching SNL reruns on a little TV Screen)
Speaker: And I was living in a van down by the river!!!
Devlin: Hah! (Tipper clunks him on the head.) Ow… what? Really? Woah… Ronald McDonald issued Tax Refunds in Chicken McNuggets? That must have been a great time to be alive.
Tipper: Whatever… Hey… this is a TV too? (Pushes a button.)
Speaker: Next on MSN *click* Next on MSN2 click Next on MSN3 click click click click click* Next on CBS, Survivor 392. What happens when 12 ordinary people are put on Earth’s moon with no spacesuits? Real life, raw and unscripted.
Tipper: Note to self, destroy Mark Burnett’s offspring.
Ducky: Not a drop in the house...
Blue: This sucks... (They turn into a doorway which opens to find a room filled with all the Star Trek gizmos and weapons and whatnot.)
Ducky: There is a god...
Let’s review shall we? Blue has been put into a position of power. Emeril is the cook, and BoB has managed to interrupt power on two separate occasions. Fun times ahead on the next episode of…
Star Trek: The Namir Generation
The crew finds the derilect ship!
Joy develops her natural healing ability.
Microsoft’s history revealed!
Sean Connery and Ravenworks guest stars!
Star Trek: The Namir Generation
Episode 2: Commanding for Dummies
Last time on, Star Trek: The Namir Generation! Well, the series started! The 8 main characters from Namir Deiter got thrown into the future. Blue unwillingly accepted the position of Captain of the ship. Izzy seems to have managed to snag a cushy desk job complete with a deadly ray gun laser. BoB has already began his pre-season attack and as we all know Ducky as well as Blue stumbled onto a room full of gizmos. Oh, and did I mention that Sean Connery and Ravenworks will be guest starring?
Scene: Where we last left Ducky and Blue,
The Room Full of Gizmos
(Blue picks up a phaser and looks at the buttons.)
Blue: Funky remote... (Her finger accidentally pushes a white button on top of the phaser and the wall is incinerated.) I think I found my favorite thing in the world!
Ducky: (Picks up the rifle phaser.) Hehe... (Slings it over her shoulder.) What shall we do?
Blue: [Picks up another rifle](Exuberant Yell) Duck Hunt!
The two felines exit the room and sticks to one side of the corridor. They slowly walk down the hallway, switching from side to side and ordering each other like a bunch of commandos. They peak around a corner and the few crew members give them a odd look. Blue and Ducky burst out of the corner.
Blue: For the glory of... of... Help me out
Ducky: Shooting things! (She pulls the trigger and starts shooting blindly. The crew duck and run.)
Blue: (sarcastically) Thanks alot.
Ducky: (Faces Blue) You know I have a itchy trigger finger.
Blue: Focus on the task at hand.
Blue: (Takes out a tan envelope and undoes the string. Opening it, she takes out a mugshot of Tipper.) This woman was found leaving the scene of a cop transit auction.
Ducky: And that means?
Blue: She's a threat to the entire universe. We must put a stop to her evil ways.
Emeril: Remember, live, love and eat!
Tipper and Devlin: Bye, Emeril!
Tipper: Something's been bothering me.
Devlin: Yeah, I think Emeril's been stealing recipes from Wolfgang Puck!
Tipper: No. Since Blue is the Captain. What am I?
Devlin: How 'bout... cute captain?
Tipper: (smirks) Cute, but I want power and a title like that won't do.
Devlin: How about... um... Lieutenant Commander?
Tipper: (Snaps fingers.) Yeah! Good job! You can be my Lieutenant.
Devlin: Uh... sounds good! (They leave into a busling hallway. Tipper starts pushing everyone out of the way.) Out of my way! Lieutenant Commander coming through!
Commander: I'm a commander. (Tipper knocks him down hard with a left hook.)
Bill Gates: (Cowers in fear.) Don't hurt me!
Tipper: What? How did you get here?
Bill: I lost a bet with the penguin in 2002.
Devlin: What penguin?
Bill: The penguin with the red hat! It was a fish eating contest. I lost.
Tipper: Yah, yah... (Tosses Gates aside.)
Devlin: Shouldn't you be more nicer?
Tipper: (Turns around.) I'm sorry. It's just a power trip. You all understand?)
(Wait. BoB's not here. Alright, who's turn is it to watch BoB!)
Scene: Docking Bay 92
BoB: (Staring out into space.) Wow. It sure
Emeril: Indeed it is.
BoB: Oh my! It's Emeril! I love your shows.
Emeril: I love meeting a fan.
BoB: You know, I've dabbled a bit in the cooking arts.
Emeril: Really? Well, it's always good to hear that. Say, why don't you come by the Mess Hall. I'll let you cook in the kitchen. (dramatic reverb!!!)
BoB: Alright. One more thing. Say, what is that stuff you put in whatever your making when you say bam.
Emeril: No! You need to say it with some feeling. BAM!
(Jackie Chan enters.)
Jackie Chan: Bam?
(Jackie Chan leaves.)
Emeril: We'll need to work on that. See you
later, kid. (leaves)
BoB: I can't wait!
Snickers: Hey! I think we're in a asteroid
field or something.
Twix: Why do you say that?
Snickers: (The viewscreen shows a man in the viewscreen.) That.
Viewscreen: Your in a astroid field, idiot.
Twix: Ok.. ok.. Umm... I'll steer out of the way.
(Snickers hand grazes a small button which shoots a red laser from the ship, incinerating the asteroids.)
Snickers: No need. (Starts pushing the button.)
You know. This shouldn't (Boom!) be enjoyable, but it is. (BOOM! BOOOM!
Twix: Nice shot!
(Ducky and Blue barge in sporting sunglasses. Blue tackles Snickers to the wall.)
Snickers: What the?
Blue: (Pulls out the picture.) Have you seen this girl?
Ducky: For the record. I'm with her because there's nothing to do.
Twix: Blue? What are you doing? (Ducky fires a warning shot above Twix's head.)
Blue: Not talking 'eh? We have ways of making you talk...
(Devlin and Tipper walk in)
Devlin: I don't want to know...
Tipper: As Lieutenant Commander I demand to take control of this ship! (Snickers and Twix bolt out of the room.) Easy enough.
Devlin: I got dibs on driving!
Tipper: (Walks over to the console where Snickers was.) Neat... (pushes a button.) Neato!
Blue: So I have you! What do you have to say before paying the penalty! (Points the rifle at Tipper.)
Tipper: Not now. I'm busy.
Blue: I mean it! I'll!!!! (The ship crashes into something sending everyone off their feet.)
Devlin: I think we hit something.
Ducky: It must be that ship thingy. Hey, Blue. BLUE!!! BLUE!!!!!! (Hits blue with the handle of the gun.)
Blue: Oh.. Uh... Right! We need to assemble our crack rescue team! Does the A-Team make housecalls?
Mr. T: Quit your jibba-jabba!
Ducky: Sigh... I've got it. (Leaves.)
Scene: Level 32
Joy: Ugh... I've got such a headache.
Voice: Hmm... phaser burns...
Joy: (Peeks into a room.) Hum???
Crewman: That's the Med Area. Any problems, go there. Just don't mention his handicap.
Joy: Right... (Walks in. It looks like your standard fare future Med Bay. On one of the tables lays a injured raccoon with a larger figure looking at him.) Excuse me... but... Wha??? (The figure turns around and RavenWorks looks at Joy.)
RavenWorks: Eh.. (Turns to the patient.)
Joy: (Walks up to the table.) What's wrong with him?
RavenWorks: A weapon injury. Apparently two girls were out shooting everything in sight. They say one of them has Blue hair and was mentioning something about Topper or Tupperware or something.
Joy: (To self) Sounds like Blue... (To RavenWorks) Anything I can do?
RavenWorks: Well. It was only a stun blast, he'll be up in a few hours. (Joy starts to glow a pale pink.) Huh?
Patient: Woah! Thank you doc!
RavenWorks: I didn't do anything.
Patient: (Shakes Joy's hand.) Thank you, thank you, thank you! (Leaves.)
RavenWorks: (Takes a scanner in his beak and starts scanning Joy) [muffled] Ramamuhzing...
RavenWorks: (Places the scanner down.) Amazing. It seems you have the ability to... to...
Joy: To save the world! To find a end to cancer? To get rid of disease as we now know it?
RavenWorks: You can wake people up.
Joy: Oh... Say, may I ask you something?
Joy: I... um... How... did you become a doctor?
RavenWorks: Oh... 9 years in medical school. A 3.9 GPA to boot. Would have been a 4.0 if it wasn't for Dr. Gerraro cutting off my testing... Yes... they said it couldn't be done. They thought I was mad... mad I tell you! Bwahaha! Well, who's mad now! Bwahahaha!!!!
Joy: What did you do?
RavenWorks: Created a Artifical Lifeform. Mary Frankenpoppins! Yes, completely organic. The perfect creation. Almost too perfect...
Joy: What happened to her?
RavenWorks: Medicine I'm afraid. That fool! She never knew there was no sugar in that spoon! Those upper classmen tricked her. Replacing the sugar with salt. (Starts crying.)
Joy: I'm so sorry...
RavenWorks: (Stops.) No prob. Anyways. Anything the matter?
Joy: Yeah, I have this headache.
RavenWorks: Right... (Floats to a table grabbing a bottle of asprin.) Here you go.
Joy: Thanks. (Takes a asprin.)
RavenWorks: Say, you know. Waking people up after a operation would really help clear this place out faster then to wait for them to wake up. Would you mind staying for a while longer. (Grabs a scapula.) I have to do a operation later. (Joy pauses and leaves.)
Scene: Just outside the bridge.
Ducky: Hey, guys. No hard feelings about
what happened right?
Snickers: Yeah, I guess.
Ducky: Wanna go look at that ship?
Twix: Sure. I guess.
(They leave to the Transporter Room)
Snickers, Ducky and Twix are standing on the transporter pad, across the room a workerman is working the controls. A beam of light hit the three as they are transported off the ship. They are remolecularized in the hull of the ship. Inside it looks much like the setting of a lavish ball. Everything is in perfect condition and there are groups of people dancing in formal wear.
Twix: Ok... they sent a distress signal. So why is it that these people are waltzing? I'm gonna have a talk with one of these people. (Goes to one of the dancing couples.) Excuse me... but.. Wah! (The couple look at him, but their face is just two lines for eyes and a line for a mouth.)
Couple: Ditto! (The couple morph into a pair of Ditto's. Soon after, the rest of the dancing pairs follow suit. Then the heard of Ditto's go chasing them.)
Ducky: (Readys the rifle.) Freaky? Yeah,
I think so.
Snickers: There's a door that way. (They go through the door. This room is the opposite of the last room. It's in shambles. Tables and chairs are everywhere. Broken glass. The lights are flickering, yada yada yada...) Look! Someone!
Survivor: Have you come to rescue us?
Twix: Yes. Are you hurt?
Survivor: Heh, I'm as patched up as I'm gonna be. I was in a lot worse condition. Thanks to that man. (Points to a sillouette in the shadows.)
Man: Hello, there! (The man walks out of the shadows. It's Sean Connery!)
Twix: Are you the Captain of this ship?
Connery: Indeed I am you Montebank!
Twix: What did you say? Never mind. What happened?
Connery: Ah, yes... I was involved in a rousing game of Ping-Pong. The game was afoot when we recieved a package.
Snickers: What was the package?
Connery: I'll show you.
Scene: Cargo Bay, Other Ship
Snickers: What is it? (Everyone gazes at
the large sphere infront of them. Half is red, half is white with the a
white stripe going around the middle, on one side it looks like a button.
Connery: They came out of that.
Twix: Those... Things?
Connery: Yes... The horror. All you could hear is Ditto DITTO DITTO!!!
Connery: Still, those monsters wrecked everything.
Snickers: Then those... Ditto caused the ship to go haywire.
Connery: Yes. If we can get them off the ship. Everything will be fine.
Twix: I know! If we plant charges around the room, we could blow the floor right under 'em.
Connery: Your the man now dog!
Twix: I'm not a dog.
Connery: Never mind.
(Minutes later at the enterance to what will be refered to as the Ballroom. Connery is seen rolling a cart with something being covered by a black blanket.)
Connery: I have them. (Takes off the blanket.
Revealing 4 ladies who look exactly like the host of the Weakest Link,
I think her name is Anne.) These are high explosive charges. I bought them
wholesale from NBC. Now, in order to arm them. Say, P-A-S-S. They have
a 2 minute timer. So work quickly.
Ducky & Snickers & Twix: Right.
Twix: So, you say pass and...
Anne Bomb: Welcome to... The Weakest Link. Round 5 team. You only have 20 seconds to get to your target of $125,000.
Connery: Wheel them in! There's no time! (All 4 push the cart into the room full of dittos. Connery pushes a button which lowers the Blast Door.)
Anne Bomb: (Twists head like a broken robot, complete with sparks.)You are the weakest link. Weakest link. Weakest link. *Boing* (Each one'e left eye pops out. Then BOOM! The dittos in space join together to form a big sailboat.)
Connery: Everything should be back to normal. Thank you. Here. (Hands them tapes.)
Ducky: What are these?
Connery: The Connery Collection! Everything from my work as 007 to The Rock.
Snickers: Um... thanks. Hey, how do we get... (They teleport back to the ship.)
Scene: The Mess Hall, Blue's Ship
BoB: Finished! (Holds up a sandwhich.)
Emeril: What is it?
BoB: It's a PB and... whoops...
Emeril: Where's the bread?
BoB: (cries) It was so hard!
Emeril: Look. Don't cry. I'll take you under my wing ok? (Very Dramatic Music.) You'll be as famous as...
Emeril: (Holds a frying pan.) You trying to make something of it pal?
Star Trek: The Namir Generation!
-Kiki returns (She'll be more omnipresent
now. Promise ).
-The sanity of Blue is questioned!
-Bad people attack the ship!
-Joy awakens Karl Marx!
All this and more on the next ep of Star
Trek: The Namir Generation.
Trek: The Namir Generation
Episode 3: Mallcats
Alrighty, last time on ST:TNG. Blue and Ducky played shoot everything, Tipper made herself Lieutenant Commander, Joy got to meet Doc RavenWorks and find out she has magic powers (She can wake people up. ;P), Ducky volunteered to go to the direlect ship along with Twix and Snickers where they met Sean Connery and used some Animatronic Bombs to save the ship from some waltzing Dittos. Oh yeah, and Emeril has decided to impart his culinary knowlege on BoB (The fool!). Ahem... let's see... I kinda blew my 1/4 on my budget on guest stars (You think hiring Sean Connery is cheap?). So... Kiki can come back. Yeah, that one that looks like Tipper except with hair like Ducky's. And... Pottery Man! Yeah! Pottery Man!
Director/Me: What is it now?
Casting Guy: Emeril called in sick.
Director: What? Why that little... I'm paying him enough to get over here and be the friggin cook! Alright, don't panic. Don't panic *shakes Casting Guy: Don't panic! Ok, I got a idea. *Whispers to the Casting guy, then the screen fades to black and fades in with a picture of Blue's ship and another ship.*
Location: Orss System
Sundate: 3295.219 and 3/5
A bunch of sirens go off, the viewscreen has a picture of ordinary people dressed in Middle Ages armor.
Guy 1: Haha! You have stumbled onto the place
of no return!
Guy 1: We are ffssmowp!
Blue: Come again?
Guy 1: Fff---sss---mmmmoooowww---pppp.
Blue: Ok, look. I got no change pal. Move along here. I'm a captain captaining! You think that's hard work?
Tipper: Really now? Since when were you into working?
Guy 1: The Fraternal Society of Middle Ages Armor Wearing People.
Blue: Oh! F-S-M-A-A-W-P!
Guy 1: You have heard of us?
Guy 1: Then prepare to taste mine steel oh feral woman!
Blue: What did you call me? Oh, wait till I get over there mister!
The ship outside looks like a big shield except more thicker. A big door opens showing a large extendable hand holding a sword and starts swinging it at the ship.
Blue: That thing isn't doing anything is
Joy: *looks at monitor* No.
Blue: Are they bad people?
Twix: Well, I don't think so. Whatever floats your boat I supose.
Blue: Right. Tipper! Fire!
Tipper starts pushing buttons as the ship fires a multitude of lasers incinerating it. In it's wake lies a black hole!
Blue: That's bad isn't it?
Blue: How bad?
Tipper: Bad bad.
Blue: Bad as in, bad day at the office bad or bad as in BoB bad.
Tipper: It can kill us.
Blue: WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE!
As Blue runs around the bridge, the ship get's pulled in and get's spit back out into a crowed area of space.
Blue: Twix? Where are we?
Twix: Um... let me see. (Pushes some buttons at his console.) Do-donna-donna Station?
Twix: You asked me to go straight. This is straight.
Blue: Boring! (Spins around in the chair.) Let's go lookee!
Twix: Ok. Let me try docking.
Tipper: You know how to?
Twix: Can't be that hard.
Twix makes some movements on the trackball and throttle. The ship begins to move twirl wildly toward the station. The ship hits the station as everyone onboard is thrown off their center-of-gravity. This has been a recording.
Tipper: Ow! Twix!
Twix: Hey! Don't blame me.
Blue: (Pushes a button marked P.A.) Attention everyone. Twix screwed up. Protocol dictates that you all should blame Tipper.
Tipper: What? It's your fault we're here in the first place! I'll kill you!
Blue: Actually. No, that's no fun. Go blame BoB. Everybody go blame BoB! (A faint "BoB!" can be heard resonating throughout the ship.)
Twix: Let's just use the teleporter.
Everyone goes to the teleporter room where the rest of the Namir Deiter crew is (Hey, she never turned of the PA system.) And they get transported into...
Scene: The Food Court!
Joy: I am hungry.
BoB: And I was just about to finish my first cooking assignment.
Snickers: Which is?
BoB: Making brownies... from... a box.
Joy: Did they come out alright?
BoB: Are they suppose to look like coal?
They all sigh.
Ducky: BoB, your hopeless.
BoB: Yes, but I think I'm due for a turnaround in fortune.
Everyone starts rolling on the floor laughing. Then they all get up and leave.
Inside the KFC people are standing in line, eating food and playing in the jungle gym. In the corner, Kiki is beating up something.
Snickers: What are you doing?
Kiki: (Hits the man with a overly sized comedic mallet.) Beating on the Colonel! It's really fun. Wanna try?
Snickers: Not (Smash!) really (Kapow!).
Kiki: Die you radical semi-Commusociopathologicalist!
Kiki: (Smashes the Colonel one last time making him into a cartoon like pancake.) Let's go looksee around.
Snickers: Let's go!
Scene: Main Concourse
Joy: Wow... This place is huge! Wish I had
some cash on me.
BoB: Yeah. *Looks at a sign and reads* Easter Bunny is here? The Easter Bunny! I'm gonna go Joy ok?
Joy: Knock yourself out... *pauses* Easter bunny?
Blue: *Walks in* You know something Tipper. I think I'm turning over a new leaf. From now on, I'll be more apathetic.
Tipper: Do you know what that means?
Blue: Oh, like you do.
Kiki: *Holds up a pair of jeans* What do
Snickers: Huh? Oh, yeah... sure. Whatever.
Kiki: What's wrong?
Snickers: Well, it's just that. I feel so out of place. The proverbial fish out of the water.
Kiki: I know the feeling. Here. *Hands Snickers the huge mallet* Just go hit a mascot. It does work.
Snickers: I... thank you, but...
All of a sudden, the PA system comes on.
PA System: Attention patrons, please stay where you are. We are under a robbery in the Electronics department.
Scene: Electronics Department
Blue: Alright! This is a stick up! Don't anybody move!
(A robo rentacop comes in.)
Rent-a-cop: Halt, citizen. I am rent-a-cop.
Please surrender or I will be forced to fire.
Blue: You wouldn't dare. I have this! *Holds up BoB over his head* Everybody get down! I have a BoB and I know how to use it!
Patron 1: She has a bomb?
Patron 2: She has a bomb! *grabs his cellphone and dials a number.* Help! Police! There's a crazy woman here with a bomb!
Scene: Deserted Easter Bunny Area
Joy: This must be where BoB was... where is everybody? *Goes to a table covered with a large blanket* Hmm...
(Joy starts to glow again and a ambient groan is heard. She jumps off the table and looks around.)
(The tablecloth slides off revealing a Karl Marx in a glass case. He punches out of the box and proceeds to exit the room.
Karl Marx: Communism.....
Joy: Whoo boy... Joy, you really did it this time.
Scene: Outside the Sears Store in the mall.
(Here's the deal, there's a SWAT team positioned all around the enterance of the store. Police hovercars [don't ask.] formed a barracade with a bunch of officers looking at the enterance for any sign of movement and of course the media.)
Newswoman: Here I am at what used to be a normal area of commerce of consumer goods. Now, tragedy. It's the... Standoff at Sears.
Blue: *Still lifting BoB over her head* 24, 24 hours to go-oh! I wanna be sedated!
(Kiki and Snickers crawl toward Blue)
Snickers: *whispers* Blue! Blue!
Kiki: Hey Blue!
Blue: What is it? Can't you see I'm busy!
Snickers: Why are you trying to hold up this place? *looks up at BoB* What are you doing with BoB?
Blue: *Yells* Silence!
Snickers: Look at the TV!
TV: In Hour 2 of the Standoff at Sears, we have confirmed from one of the hostages themselves that the suspect has a biological weapon, is feline, has blue hair, is a woman and... what's this? Purple monkey rama lama ding dong. *Turns to side* Addler, your fired.
Blue: Hazzah! Kill all the Pyrometers!
Kiki: She's not mentally ill or anything is she?
Snickers: Offically, she's never seen a psychiatrist. Blue can't stand psychiatrists. Even the mention of...
Blue: *interrupts* AHH! Shrinks! Where are they? Where? Where? Where! I'll use BoB!
The TV's in the department suddenly blow up with the mention of the word BoB. All of a sudden Pottery Man comes in! *heroic cresendo!*
Pottery Man: Halt evil doer! *Hurls a vase
Vase: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Crash*
Blue: Woah. Now, get on the ground. *Starts walking toward Pottery Man*
Pottery: Never! *Throws more screaming vases*
Blue: You asked for it. *Brings BoB, and touches Pottery Man with him, he disintegrates.*
Scene: Outside Sears
Karl Marx: *groan* Communism...
Policeman: AARRGGHH!!! *Fires a few rounds into his chest, the bullets deflect right off. Marx proceeds to move past the blockade, desimating everything in it's path and brakes through the doors to the scene of the holdup.*
Karl Marx: Grr.... *Karl Marx turns all funky colors then explodes, knocking Blue and BoB unconsious.*
Kiki: I guess that wormhole thing messed up Blue's head.
Snickers: *completely ignoring Kiki* Urgh! This is the last time I shop with you!
Kiki: Whatever, let's get Blue back on board.
Snickers: I guess. *They push BoB off of Blue and carry her back to the ship.
Oy... Alrighty, call in now and you'll recieve your limited-editon hints on the next episode of...
Star Trek: The Namir Generation!
-See Izzy return!
-See Izzy talking to a omnimous dark shadow!
-See BoB run!
-Run BoB run!
All this and more on the next ep of Star
Trek: The Namir Generation.